Helping Kids Question “Tricky Thoughts”
What to do when your child says things like “I’m dumb” or “Nobody likes me.”
It can feel like a punch to the heart when your child says something like:
- “I always ruin everything.”
- “No one wants to play with me.”
- “I’m bad.”
As parents, our instinct is often to reassure or fix. “Of course people like you!” “That’s not true!”
But when a child is deep in a tricky thought, what they need most is support to explore it — not just erase it.
This week in Thera-Scholars, Dash is helping kids learn to check the facts, using our gentle and playful Check-the-Facts Sorter.
What are “tricky thoughts”?
They’re the kinds of thoughts that show up when kids feel:
- 😔 Insecure
- 😡 Angry
- 😢 Embarrassed
- 😨 Scared
These thoughts often sound like “always” or “never” — and they feel so big, they seem like facts.
Our goal isn’t to tell kids they’re wrong. It’s to help them ask, “what else might be true?”
Why this matters:
🧠 Learning to question unhelpful thoughts is one of the most protective skills we can teach.
It builds:
- Self-awareness
- Emotional resilience
- Problem-solving
- Flexible thinking
And it helps your child shift from “I am the problem” to “I have a problem I can work through.”
How to practise at home:
🧩 Try the Check-the-Facts Sorter — This week’s tool helps kids sort their thoughts into:
- 🚩 “Big feelings that might need checking”
- 🧠 “Thoughts that are true, helpful, and kind”
- 🔍 “Things we’re not sure about — let’s explore”
🎲 Make it a game:
“Let’s play detective with that thought. What clues do we have?”
💬 Use simple reframes:
- “You feel like no one likes you. Has that happened every time?”
- “Is it possible your brain is telling a scary story because you’re sad?”
🧸 Validate first, explore second:
“I believe that’s how it feels. Let’s see if the feeling and the facts match.”
What not to worry about:
You’re not trying to convince your child they’re wrong — you’re building thinking muscles that will grow with them. Every time they check a tricky thought, they learn they’re not stuck with it forever.
Coming Up This Week:
💭 Tuesday Tool: Dash’s Check-the-Facts Sorter — a hands-on activity to gently explore tricky thinking
📝 Friday Reflection: 3 questions to help your child notice when they were able to think in a more helpful way
📣 Want to see how other carers are supporting kids through tricky thoughts?
Join our private Thera-Scholars carers group — where we practise gentle thinking skills and celebrate real wins (even the tiny ones).
🔗 Autism Thera-Scholars Carers Community
📧 info@succeedhealthcare.com.au
🌐 www.succeedhealthcare.com.au